Of Hyuuga
by Djehuty3
Summary: In which friendship is made, Naruto is embarrassing, Tenten is fangirlish, Hinata blushes and Hanabi learns things the embarrassing way.


Hey guys! So I've been re-reading my old stuff before doing another revision of The Konoha Twelve when this little plot bunny popped into my head and demanded to be written. Pretty simple idea, really- Naruto and Tenten both married into the Hyuuga, right? So what kind of conversation would they have?

Anyway, quick continuity note; this takes place in the same universe as both Immortal and The Konoha Twelve, and takes place in between those two fics. The Twelve wiped out the Sound, but Tsunade's still Hokage and Naruto doesn't know how fast he heals yet. It's a humorous little fic, and I'm glad I got to write it. Just a quick warning, though- this thing's more filthy then a mud bath that a dog's crapped in. Keep that in mind!

Naruto and Tenten were two very different ninja.

This was not surprising; they were very people, too. Tenten came from a huge extended family of loving civilians and a dozen ex-shinobi. Naruto was an orphan who (prior to his stunning career as a shinobi) had been considered a nuisance at best. She'd studied hard throughout her time at the academy and earned her hitai-ate on the first try. He'd taken three attempts and even then had only graduated through sheer bloody-mindedness and one idiot's stupid mistake. Keeping that in mind, it wasn't even vaguely surprising how different they were.

They did, however, share a few similarities; both were members of the Konoha Twelve, for example. Both of them had dumb-ass, arrogant team mates they'd been forced to beat some sense into (although, to be fair, Naruto hadn't married his).

And, apparently, both of them had a bit of a thing for delicate features, long hair and pale grey eyes. That last one was the clincher. And that was why, perhaps inevitably, a friendship had formed. It was an odd friendship, admittedly, and built around the tenets of mutual exasperation and I-need-someone-normal-to-talk-to-before-these-grey-eyed-freaks-drive-me-insane, but it was a good one too, and a lasting one.

It had started pretty early on in both marriages. Neji and Hinata- along with a good two thirds of the rest of the Hyuuga clan's shinobi members- had been sent on a mission. Something involving a taijutsu tournament, apparently. In most cases, this wouldn't have been a problem; both couples were working shinobi, after all, and spending large periods of time away from each other on missions wasn't really that big a deal.

It was that big a deal, however, when, while your wife/husband is off kicking the ever living shit out of some poor, god-forsaken mist ninja who was stupid enough to enter an international taijutsu contest when the Hyuuga felt they had something to prove, _you_ were stuck in the compound on guard duty by your father-in-law. The fact that Hiashi had been smirking when he told them hadn't improved matters.

Which was why Konoha's Yellow Fang and Steel Dragon were left in a clan compound together with nothing for company but a dozen branch family servants, the family dog and each other.

Didn't much help that the family dog was about a hundred years old and tended to shit on the carpet all the time, either.

Naruto gazed longingly at the gates as he wandered past, arguably patrolling. It would take him less then half a second to jump the walls, and at most two minutes to make it to the training ground he liked best. It would be free right now, too; he'd have the place to himself. Heck, maybe Sasuke would turn up- he could get some sparring in.

All it would take was one little jump...

He sighed, turned away from the gate and trudged onwards. He could do it, of course, but then he knew for a fact Hinata wouldn't speak to him for at least a week, and that was if she was feeling generous. He loved his wife very much, of course, and she returned that feeling, but Hinata treasured her newly repaired relationship with her father, and if Naruto even thought about fucking that up, then he would be sleeping on both the metaphorical and literal couch until hell itself froze over.

Naruto did not wear the pants in this marriage. He'd had that beaten into him when he'd made a suggestion about children after the honeymoon; it had taken him six weeks to stop screaming every time a child cried in his hearing (and when had Ino taught her _that?_)

There was a semi-silent thud behind him. He didn't turn; Tenten had announced her presence well before that landing in a thousand little unnoticeable ways. She caught up with him in half a step, and kept stride.

"Hey," she said, by way of greeting.

"Hey."

"See anything interesting?"

"Only the same interesting things I saw the last time I walked around this place. Dirt. Shrines. More dirt. A wall. More dirt. An ant hill. Did I mention the dirt?"

"Yes. Yes you did. And Naruto?"

"Yeah?"

"That wasn't funny the first time."

"Says you! Konohamaru almost wet himself when I told him."

"You saw Konohamaru?"

"Yeah, between the dirt and the dirt."

"Still not funny. Assuming that was a joke, which is arguable."

"Stop using stupid words. They're annoying."

"Since when is 'arguable' a stupid word?"

"Since I counted the syllables. Anything over four is stupid."

"..."

"Don't give me that look. You know I'm right."

She managed not to laugh. In her past experience, that only encouraged him. For a moment, there was a companionable silence. Then he ruined it.

"So what do you like so much about Neji, anyway?"

"...Excuse me?!?"

"Oh, come on. We've got three more days of this before they come back, and I can't train all the time. We've gotta talk about _something_."

"And my love life is the chosen topic why?"

"'Cuz I know about mine. Come on. Talk."

"No."

"Oh, come on! Talk!"

"No! This is so embarrassing, Naruto."

"I know. 'S why I'm doing it."

"...you're trying to embarrass me into submission?"

"Uh huh. Works pretty good on Hinata sometimes. And Hanabi."

"...you can embarrass _Hanabi_?"

"I can embarrass _anyone_, Tenten. I embarrassed _Jiraiya_ once."

"See now, that's a story I want to hear."

"Okay. After you tell me yours."

Damn it. She'd thought he'd forgotten. She decided to change tack.

"Look, it's private, okay? How would you feel if I asked you what you like about Hinata?"

"Because she's nice without deciding to be nice, even if she doesn't realise it, because she dealt with all the shit this family piled on her all her life and doesn't hold it against them, because she notices me, and because she decided to improve herself so she could be a better person, not because she was supposed to," said Naruto, baldly.

There was a moment of stunned silence.

And then her inner little girl snatched control.

"That is so _cute!_" she squealed. She grabbed his arm, pulled it close, snuggled it for a second in absolute joy...

...and then let go and jumped back, slightly horrified at herself. Damnit, she was not a fan girl! She had never been a fan girl, not even when Neji had gotten henge'd naked at the academy once!

She coughed. "Sorry."

"S'okay," Naruto said, wincing as he massaged the feeling back into his arm. "It's not the first time I've had that happen."

"Oh yeah? Who else?"

"Uh... Ino, Sakura, Sai-"

"Sai?"

"Uh huh. He was watching Sakura when she did it, though; he just kinda assumed that was what you were supposed to do."

"...that's adorable."

"Yeah. Your turn."

She double-took.

"Wait, what?"

"I just said why I like my Hyuuga. Now you tell me why you like yours."

"'My Hyuuga'? This isn't a product review, Naruto!"

"Stalling."

"I am not stalling, I'm just making a point!"

"Stalling."

"Damn it, you are so stubborn!"

"I will say it again, Ten Ten. Do I have to say it again?"

She gave a frustrated little scream. He looked at her, amused.

"That still counts as stalling, you know."

She glared at him.

"Alright, fine. I'll tell you, okay?" she growled. "What I like about him is..."

Silence.

"...is how he plays with my hair."

Still more silence.

"Wait, what?"

"Look, I didn't say it was gonna make sense, alright? When we... you know, did it the first time, I still had my hair up. And Neji pulled out all the pins, and untied the braid, and brushed it out, and he started... playing with it. And he was gentle. And he was... nice. And that's when I realised that he's not an asshole."

Silence III: Return of the Silence.

"Okay, he was still an asshole, but he was an asshole because he was looking out for himself, alright? Different kind of asshole."

"That... wasn't why I didn't day anything."

"What?"

"When me and Hinata first... you know... she started stroking my hair."

"..._what_?!"

"She... she combed it. And she ran her hands through it, and played with it 'cause it was so short."

"..."

"She... she did this thing where she sorta kissed along my forehead-"

"-while braiding the back of your hair?"

Silence IV: The Hideously Embarrasing Realisation.

"Oh God."

"Oh God is right."

"You don't think they-"

"With each other?! No! No. No way. Hiashi'd go psycho."

"Yeah. Yeah. They must just have... similar tastes."

"Exactly."

"Goes with the bloodline."

"Yeah. With the Byakugan and stuff."

Silence V: The Awkward Years.

Naruto searched for a way to break through the infuriating franchise.

"Have you two..."

"Yes."

"You don't know what I'm going to say."

"Yes, I do, Naruto. You were going to ask if we'd experimented with the Byakugan."

"...Okay, how did you know that?"

"Because you've been thinking about it for days."

"You don't know that. How could you know that?"

"You keep getting this considering look every time Neji uses his Byakugan. And then you give me a look too. Kinda obvious, there, Blondie."

"...Okay, so maybe I've been wondering."

"You haven't broached the subject yet?"

"No. I mean, we've tried stuff, but... well, everyone can see through walls in this place. I don't want to ask something embarrassing in case she gets upset and then everybody in the whole compound knows."

"She won't. Not if she's as like Neji as I'm starting to suspect."

"Don't- don't go there, all right."

"I'm just saying Neji liked the idea a bundle. Liked peeking, too. Used to do it all the time."

"Too! Much! Information!"

"Hah! Four syllables. You used a stupid word!"

"Information is not a stupid word. It's only stupid when other people say it."

"...That's retarded."

"Hey!"

"Well it is!"

"Not as retarded as telling someone about how cool it is to have a husband who can see through your clothes!"

"That was not retarded, that was a piece of factual information. And it was relevant. And to get back on topic, I maintain it would be a very good idea for you to ask Hinata. She'll enjoy it, you'll enjoy it... trust me, Naruto, everybody wins."

"...You think so?"

"I know so. I have several weeks of the best sex in my life to back me up on this."

"...so THAT'S why you two were making so much noise! Hinata couldn't sleep for a week!"

"If she looked our way with those eyes of hers? Trust me. Not surprising."

Silence: The Remake.

"...Hinata's kind of shy, though. Wouldn't she be kind of embarrassed?"

"She shy in bed?"

Pause: A Prequel to Silence.

"...No."

"Then you're in luck. Try wearing something sexy under your clothes and let her see you when she's got her Byakugan on. You won't regret it."

Two days later, the Hyuuga clan proper arrived back to find the compound not in ruins (as Hanabi had secretly expected) but still entirely in one piece and well-cared for. Hiashi had given her a look that (to anyone else) would have been impassive, but to any Hyuuga in range said in flaming letters two hundred feet high "I TOLD YOU SO! I TOLD YOU SO!"

Naruto and Ten Ten had welcomed them in, smiling hugely. Naruto in particular was grinning like a loon, especially when he saw Hinata.

Hanabi still couldn't work out why, when her sister had caught site of Naruto, her face had gone very still. Nor could she work out why Neji had given Tenten a horrified look. She suspected, however, that the two were related, as was how Hinata had made her excuses early on in dinner and practically carried her husband into their quarters.

She'd asked Tenten about it. The older kunoichi had simply smiled, sipped her tea, and told her to ask her father about the birds and the bees.


End file.
